give me a balloon so i can fly away.

its, 4.56pm. on a thursday. i woke up extra late today so i have to stay here until 7.

here, is work. i sit at a desk and watch the minutes. every now and then i will try not to look at the clock, in hopes that when i do look at the clock, all this time will have flown by. but to see if its working, i peek. and realize its not.

its not all bad tho. at least i even have a job. at least i dont have to wait tables. or work weird hours. at least i can go to work, get out early enough to be able to stay up all night, and then start over again.

but the hours drag on. phone dont ring or make the cool iphone (boo-doo-doop) sound. - dont call. its all pretty bland. i find myself staring into space, blankly. hoping the minutes will pass faster.

its like this most days. i guess the pipe dream is that it wont be like this forever. "one-day" seems to be my mantra of choice as of late. you know, once i make all of my money, pay off my college loans, and get that agent who will finally get me out of the Backstage newspapers. ah, yes. that will be the day. i can sift through scripts in the mail, and turn down the ones i dont want. with a cup 'o coffe and a ciggie.

its not that i want to be famous. far from it, in fact. i just want to be able to do what I want to do. and i dont think thats asking for much. why else are we put on this lousy planet- to kill ourselves getting by until we die? or torturing ourselves with how we could be better? and when we ignore all of the voices in our heads, are we living in denial, or simply trying to survive?

so. i dont really know why i need yet another thing to keep up with. but if for nothing else, this will be a place where i can vent, or waste time. whichever comes first.